i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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