Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
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Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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