We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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