elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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