I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
from now on my penis is your penis
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
