the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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