i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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