Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
