I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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