It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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