You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
