HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
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hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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