I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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