my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize