i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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