barbara walters just said penis...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This baby is an asshole
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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