I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
