dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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