yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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