Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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