look no pants
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
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I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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