apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize