i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
