I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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