I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize