you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
