just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
