you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize