Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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