the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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