FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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