do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
