she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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