having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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