Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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