Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
