It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
