It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
