I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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