shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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