my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize