This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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