I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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