The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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