I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
