if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
