I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
