shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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