oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
