C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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