he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
