so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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