you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
