2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
