Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
