in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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