We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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